The Random Thread (My 5985)

JODY
It's only one-thirty in the goddamn
mornin'! What the fuck's goin' on
out here?

As she walks in the living room, she sees Vincent and Lance
standing over Mia, who's lying on the floor in the middle of
the room.

From here on in, everything in this scene is frantic, like a
DOCUMENTARY in an emergency ward, with the big difference
here being nobody knows what the fuck they're doing.

JODY
Who's she?

Lance looks up at Jody.

 

LANCE
Get that black box in the bedroom I
have with the adrenaline shot.

JODY
What's wrong with her?

VINCENT
She's ODing on us.

JODY
Well get her the hell outta here!

LANCE AND VINCENT
(in stereo)
Get the fuckin' shot!

JODY
Don't yell and me!

She angrily turns and disappears into the bedroom looking
for the shot.

WE MOVE into the room with the two men.

 

VINCENT
(to Lance)
You two are a match made in heaven.

LANCE
Look, just keep talkin' to her, okay?
While she's gettin' the shot, I gotta
get a medical book.

VINCENT
What do you need a medical book for?

LANCE
To tell me how to do it. I've never
given an adrenaline shot before.

VINCENT
You've had that thing for six years
and you never used it?

LANCE
I never had to use it. I don't go
joypoppin' with bubble-gummers, all
of my friends can handle their highs!

 

VINCENT
Well then get it.

LANCE
I am, if you'll let me.

VINCENT
I'm not fuckin' stoppin' you.

LANCE
Stop talkin' to me, and start talkin'
to her.

WE FOLLOW Lance as he runs out of the living room into a...

INT. SPARE ROOM

With a bunch of junk in it. He frantically starts scanning
the junk for the book he's looking for, repeating the words,
"Come on," endlessly.

 

From OFF SCREEN we hear:

VINCENT (O.S.)
Hurry up man! We're losin' her!

LANCE
(calling back)
I'm looking as fast as I can!

Lance continues his frenzied search.

WE HEAR Jody in the living room now as she talks to Vincent.

JODY (O.S.)
What's he lookin' for?

VINCENT (O.S.)
I dunno, some medical book.

Jody calls to LANCE.

 

JODY (O.S.)
What are you lookin' for?

LANCE
My black medical book!

As he continues searching, flipping and knocking over shit,
Jody appears in the doorway.

JODY
Whata're you looking for?

LANCE
My black fuckin' medical book. It's
like a text book they give to nurses.

JODY
I never saw a medical book.

LANCE
Trust me, I have one.

 

JODY
Well if it's that important, why
didn't you keep it with the shot?

Lance spins toward her.

LANCE
I don't know! Stop bothering me!

JODY
While you're lookin' for it, that
girl's gonna die on our carpet. You're
never gonna find it in all this shit.
For six months now, I've been telling
you to clean this room –

VINCENT (O.S.)
– get your ass in here, fuck the
book!

Lance angrily knocks over a pile of shit and leaves the SHOT
heading for the living room.

 

LIVING ROOM

Vincent is bent over Mia, talking softly to her, when Lance
reenters the room.

VINCENT
Quit fuckin' around man and give her
the shot!

Lance bends down by the black case brought in by Jody. He
opens it and begins preparing the needle for injection.

LANCE
While I'm doing this, take her shirt
off and find her heart.

Vince rips her blouse open.

Jody stumbles back in the room, hanging back from the action.

 

VINCENT
Does it have to be exact?

LANCE
Yeah, it has to be exact! I'm giving
her an injection in the heart, so I
gotta exactly hit her in the heart.

VINCENT
Well, I don't know exactly where her
heart is, I think it's here.

Vince points to Mia's right breast. Lance glances over and
nods.

LANCE
That's it.

As Lance readies the injection, Vincent looks up at Jody.

VINCENT
I need a big fat magic marker, got
one?

 

JODY
What?

VINCENT
I need a big fat magic marker, any
felt pen'll do, but a magic marker
would be great.

JODY
Hold on.

Jody runs to the desk, opens the top drawer and, in her
enthusiasm, she pulls the drawer out of the desk, the contents
of which (bills, papers, pens) spill to the floor.

The injection is ready. Lance hands Vincent the needle.

LANCE
It's ready, I'll tell you what to
do.

 

VINCENT
You're gonna give her the shot.

LANCE
No, you're gonna give her the shot.

VINCENT
I've never does this before.

LANCE
I've never done this before either,
and I ain't starting now. You brought
'er here, that means you give her
the shot. The day I bring an ODing
bitch to your place, then I gotta
give her the shot.

Jody hurriedly joins them in the huddle, a big fat red magic
marker in her hand.

 

JODY
Got it.

Vincent grabs the magic marker out of Jody's hand and makes
a big red dot on Mia's body where her heart is.

VINCENT
Okay, what do I do?

LANCE
Well, you're giving her an injection
of adrenaline straight to her heart.
But she's got a breast plate in front
of her heart, so you gotta pierce
through that. So what you gotta do
is bring the needle down in a stabbing
motion.

Lance demonstrates a stabbing motion, which looks like "The
Shape" killing its victims in "HALLOWEEN".

 

VINCENT
I gotta stab her?

LANCE
If you want the needle to pierce
through to her heart, you gotta stab
her hard.

Then once you do, push down on the plunger.

VINCENT
What happens after that?

LANCE
I'm curious about that myself.

VINCENT
This ain't a fuckin' joke man!

LANCE
She's supposed to come out of it
like –
(snaps his fingers)
– that.

Vincent lifts the needle up above his head in a stabbing
motion.

He looks down on Mia.

Mia is fading fast. Soon nothing will help her.

Vincent's eyes narrow, ready to do this.

 

VINCENT
Count to three.

Lance, on this knees right beside Vincent, does not know
what to expect.

LANCE
One...

RED DOT on Mia's body.

Needle raised ready to strike.

LANCE (O.S.)
...two...

Jody's face is alive with anticipation.

NEEDLE in that air, poised like a rattler ready to strike.

LANCE (O.S.)
...three!

The needle leaves frame, THRUSTING down hard.

Vincent brings the needle down hard, STABBING Mia in the
chest.

Mia's head is JOLTED from the impact.

 

The syringe plunger is pushed down, PUMPING the adrenaline
out through the needle.

Mia's eyes POP WIDE OPEN and she lets out a HELLISH cry of
the banshee. She BOLTS UP in a sitting position, needle stuck
in her chest – SCREAMING.

Vincent, Lance and Jody, who were in sitting positions in
front of Mia, JUMP BACK, scared to death.

Mia's scream runs out. She slowly starts taking breaths of
air.

The other three, now scooted halfway across the room, shaken
to their bones, look to see if she's alright.

 

LANCE
If you're okay, say something.

Mia, still breathing, not looking up at them, says in a
relatively normal voice.

MIA
Something.

Vincent and Lance collapse on their backs, exhausted and
shaking from how close to death Mia came.

JODY
Anybody want a beer?

CUT TO:

INT. VINCENT'S MALIBU (MOVING) – NIGHT

Vincent is behind the wheel driving Mia home. No one says
anything, both are still too shaken.

 

EXT. FRONT OF MARSELLUS WALLACE'S HOUSE – NIGHT

The Malibu pulls up to the front. Mia gets out without saying
a word (still in a daze) and begins walking down the walkway
toward her front door.

VINCENT (O.S.)
Mia!

She turns around.

Vincent's out of the car, standing on the walkway, a big
distance between the two.

VINCENT
What are your thoughts on how to
handle this?

MIA
What's yours?

VINCENT
Well I'm of the opinion that Marsellus
can live his whole live and never
ever hear of this incident.

Mia smiles.

 

MIA
Don't worry about it. If Marsellus
ever heard of this, I'd be in as
much trouble as you.

VINCENT
I seriously doubt that.

MIA
If you can keep a secret, so can I.

VINCENT
Let's shake on it.

The two walk toward each other, holding out their hands to
shake and shake they do.

VINCENT
Mum's the word.

Mia lets go of Vincent's hand and silently makes the see-no-
evil, hear-no-evil, and speak-no-evil sign with her hands.

Vincent smiles.

 

VINCENT
If you'll excuse me, I gotta go home
and have a heart attack.

Mia giggles.

Vincent turns to leave.

MIA
You still wanna hear my "FOX FORCE
FIVE" joke?

Vincent turns around.

VINCENT
Sure, but I think I'm still a little
too petrified to laugh.

MIA
Uh-huh. You won't laugh because it's
not funny. But if you still wanna
hear it, I'll tell it.

VINCENT
I can't wait.

 

MIA
Three tomatoes are walking down the
street, a poppa tomato, a momma
tomato, and a little baby tomato.
The baby tomato is lagging behind
the poppa and momma tomato. The poppa
tomato gets mad, goes over to the
momma tomato and stamps on him –
(stamps on the ground)
– and says: catch up.

They both smile, but neither laugh.

MIA
See ya 'round, Vince.

Mia turns and walks inside her house.