The Random Thread (My 5985)

Archimedesed; if you know the reference, it is both funny and informative. Informative in the negative, but what else would you expect these days?

 

You're our backdoor, so either you close it for us...or we'll close it for you.

 

-Starting a war is easy. Stopping it; now, that’s the trick.
-That’s pretty good.
-Thanks (PAUSE) ‘Course, Machiavelli said it better, all lyrical prose and shit, but he’s dead, so I don’t think he’ll complain.
-Devious.
-Clever girl.
-Huh?
-Not so clever girl.

 

This grand experiment in meritocratic democracy is over.

 

One of the Rorke boat crews has petitioned to change their ship name.
What is it now?
Shiva (Anuja’s head perks up)
What’s wrong with that?
Nothing – they just don’t like the whole `destroyer of worlds` connotation.
So what did they change it too?
Spook.
Spook?
What?
There’s a ship in the fleet called `Spook`?
Don’t start.
You don’t find it faintly ridiculous? What’s next; Ghost?
Shut up (walks away)
Poltergeist? Casper?

 

You see, that sounded positively salacious.

 

Thank you, panto crowd.

 

“What, no oxymorons?” MacMurray stopped in mid-breath as she was about to launch into yet more of the standardised language of after action reports.
“Pardon?”
“You know; military intelligence? It’s not funny when I have to explain it.”
“It was funny?” MacMurray quirked an eyebrow at him. Bishop just gave her a sour look and glanced around the hub.
“So, no intel weenies?”
“I thought it prudent to keep them away from you for a spell, in case you did or said something...provocative.” Bishop pointed at his own face, adopting an angelic `who, me?` expression.

 

"As loathe as I am to inflate your ego anymore than countless of my young and impressionable female staff officers already have and do, you and your people are the best in this business."
[pause]
“It’s hardly countless. It’s been, like, three.” There were one or two smiles around the command centre, not least on Admiral MacMurray’s face.
“Lieutenant Commander Griffith.” Bishop looked at the ceiling and counted in his head.
“Okay. Four.”

 

4th Battalion
Oh, no.
What? (she smirked as she interpreted his crestfallen expression) You and Brigadier-General Van Dries don’t get along?
Bit of an understatement.
Doesn’t have a daughter, does he?
You see, it’s throwaway comments like that which propagate these wild tales of my alleged acts of lechery.
What’s her name?
Emma. (titters around)

 

Trust me; I'm female and i'm an alien. I have a sense of these things.
Something your people neglected to mention to the quarantine commission?
That's for me to know.

 

Well, no, since that narrows the suspect list to a few hundred of my friends and comrades.

 

Jesus, I thought my cousin Jed was paranoid.
Red peril, the UN or aliens?
A bit of all of them, I think. And the Jews, of course.
Oh, of course.

 

The only other thing out there are those three Eagles on the Far Continent, doing that secret shit we know nothing about.
Absolutely nothing.
Not a thing, boss.

 

Every religion has their psychopaths. Very egalitarian.

 

We, the Unwilling, led by the Unknowing, are doing the Impossible for the Ungrateful

 

Plato - Only the dead have seen the end of war

or

How does a soldier know that the war is over? They're dead.

 

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But also still my enemy.

 

-To paraphrase, children, never in the field of human endeavour has so much hope been pinned by so many on so few. We few, we
happy few, we band of brothers. I say now, cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.
-What?
-Classics, woman, classics.

 

Oh, we met your sister. Is psychosis a family trait?