The Attention Deficit Disorder Thread

OK OK I'll pretend to laugh
Hows that its just that i'm not used to it :2cent:

 

Wassup down under?

 

Subject: WOULD YOU ???? ( happy golfing)



A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I die? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry? "

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."

WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "shit."

 

*kid comes home crying with a black eye*


Kid : waa waaa waaaa

Mom : Oh my baby!!! what happened????


Kid : Anja.......an.....Anja hit me....waaa waaaaaa

Mom : How????

Kid : I....waaaa ...I was jumping with her.....and.....and...her boob just bounced up and punched me in the face......waaaa

Mom : Oh come here, it's alright dear.

Kid : Why does she have those big boobs mommy.....why??? ....what's wrong with her?

kid : I don't know baby, I don't know. *tighter hug*

 

I actually broke the tricycle of a smaller kid by sitting on it. Kid ran home crying, I imagine a similar dialogue ensued. My parents had to pay for a new one.

 

I also chased the boys on the playground and tried to smooch them.

 

I wish girls had done that with me.

 

The boys I chased didn't seem to enjoy it much.

 

I image that a small kid with big bouncing boob running right at you with arms extended and making kissy facing would be quite scary.

 

I had to learn about rejection and what it means to be overweight the hard way.

 

That actually reminds me of something, I was at a party once and they were playing this stupid game....I forget what it's called....but you had to run around while the music was playing and when the music stopped you had to grab a buddy else you were out........so the music stopped and I didn't have a buddy.....then this guy who was dressed up as Tom (Tom & Jerry) ran towards me with his arms held out wanting to be my buddy.....and I just sort of stood there with this expression : :shock:

 

Did you run away?

 

No, I was in shock, I just stood there and the voice in my head was going "oh shit".

 

So that's why you like cats!

 

Wait... what were you dressed up as?

 

I wasn't dressed up.

They had just hired a guy to come dressed up as a cartoon character and play with the kids.

 

So... he wasn't one of the other kids? He was a hired child entertainer that wanted to hug you?

 

Yes he was a hired entertainer who was playing the game with us....and ran towards me because I didn't have a buddy when the music stopped..........why aren't you getting this. :-|