The Long Farewell...

That things must pass…

George Harrison was insightful and I'm sure that he kept those words in mind as he faded into the night. As I too will do and I write as this is, perhaps, the hardest thing that I have do say in the space that we call Phun. My time draws near the end.

A few weeks ago, my doctor ran a few test and we discovered the cancer in my pancreas, This will do me in anytime in the next three to six months. With treatment, I may stick around as long as a year to a year and a half. I has to choose between fast and slow. It was a hard one to make because one offers little time while allowing me to fully enjoy it. The latter gives me more time but feeling sick as a dog most of the time.

I chose to stay around.

My decision was not based on fighting a "noble battle". Heck, no one beats death. Furthermore, there is nothing noble about fighting a disease. I want to stay around so that I can share a part of my life with a group of people that I've had the honour of meeting through this forum.

In this thread, I'll write about the ladies in my life that came and went. How they formed me into the dude that exists today. Some of these experience were great while others not so much.

Why here? Why Phun? Easy answer. I've been invisible for almost all of my life. I'm the guy who came up with great ideas but never got credit for their success. I'm the 'brother-like" guy in the bar while the chicks went after the "quarterback" types. I was the good shoulder to cry on but not attractive enough to be considered a sexy. Solid performer but never notices. Less than a Regular Joe.

That is until I registered with Phun and started posting. You all because friends and I'd like to repay. So I'll start posting my stories as long as I have strength. Please keep in mind that I intended to post a final 'farewell' when posting is becomes too much of a challenge.

 

Janet

My first carnal experience occurred as a 15-year-old lad. This was with Janet who was sweet little girl of Polish decent. She had blue eyes, dishwater blonde hair and a petite figure. Janet wasn't beautiful but she wasn't plain or ugly either.

I met Janet in science class. We stated dating on the sly. Hr parents were very religious, strict and watchful. Regardless, we had a few private times at when Janet showed a streak of sexual playfulness.

One such time occurred during a study date in her home. I went over with the science book in hand. Her parents probably wouldn't have let me in otherwise. For the first hour, we sat there in the under her mom's eagle eye in the living room as we went through the chapters. We were very focused on the book because a touch of the hand would have ended up with my being launched out the door.

We got a break when dinnertime came close. Janet's mom had to start cooking and left the room. Her father worked the night shift in a factor and went upstairs to get ready.

Once we were free of constant surveillance, Janet pushed her chair from the table, leaned back, spread her legs, hiked her skirt and revealed that she had nothing on underneath. The sight of pubic hair and pink brought my rod to immediate attention. I wanted to take it out and ram it inside her, which would have been my very first time.

Young and horny, it reached over and touch exposed thigh. That was as far as I could reach. I dared not go any farther because leaving my chair would risk setting off alarm bells.

My cock was throbbing hard. I could feel a stream of semen leaking out of the end and staining my underpants. Janet knew what she was doing to me and started torturing me further by rubbing herself in delight.

All of a sudden, Janet legs snapped shut while she pulled her skirt down. Her dad was coming down the stairs. Intuitively, I learned forward as if I was pointing out a paragraph in the book as a way to hide my hard on. My mind was screaming, "go down, go down, go down” but it had a mind of its own and refused mental commands. After a few long moments, her father left the room.

We breathed a sigh of relief only to discover that I had more seepage that expected. There was a very noticeable spot of moisture on the front of my worn, light blue jeans. There was no way I could get passed her parents without it raising suspicions.

Her mom entered the room with a pitcher of lemonade and offered drinks. Janet stood up as the pitcher was being placed on the table, as luck or spontaneous planning would have it, she bumped her mom’s elbow and the pitcher tipped over spilling yellow liquid all over my shirt and onto my lap. Camouflaged with moisture and a limp noodle, I was able to stand and excuse to the washroom.

In privacy, I removed my shirt, pants and underpants in the washroom and started to blow dry them when a flash of the Janet’s legs spread came to my mind and my cock got hard again. While mentally reliving those moments, I noticed the hamper and peeked in and mentally screamed "oh good god!" upon seeing a pair of Janet's white, Christian style panties.

I set the dryer down that left it running. I lifted the parties and took a whiff. The aroma was hypnotic. It cast me under a spell and I started whacking off while continuing to smell them. It didn't take long for me to explode. I ejaculated on her panties soaking the crotch.

With my evilness passed, I buried the garment back in the hamper’s bottom and finished drying my clothes. Once done, I dressed and went down stairs.

Janet and her parents were seated and the dinner table. Her mom repeatedly apologized for he soaking and invited to me dinner as compensation. I declined the offer. I was feeling a little awkward. I wanted to get out of there because guilt was setting in about beating off upstairs.

Janet showed me out with a puzzled look on her face. My poker face was not yet developed and she suspected something. I confessed at the door expecting her to become horrified, which didn't make sense since she flashed her pussy to be just about an hour earlier.

No, she wasn't repulsed. On the contrary, she whispered, "Go on, I want to see what your sperm smells like" and closed the door.

When Janet saw me at class on the next day, she did say a word about our study night events. She just gave me a sly smile and gave her top lip a barely noticeable lick.

At that point, I knew, I had to get her alone.

A few weeks elapsed before we had some privacy again. Public displays of affection were plentiful during this time but we didn’t go any further. Janet would even pull my hand off her breast when I tried to cop a feel. She was afraid that rumors would start circulating in the neighborhood if we were seen doing more than kissing.

The wait was frustrating but it was fun. Those kisses made me want to go all the way. For both of us to lose our virginity, together, frolicking in the land of untouched sexual experience.

The wait seemed long but it did end. School let out a few hours early due to problems labor-management issues. The custodians union walked out and school officials had no choice but to send everyone home, as no one was there to mind the boiler. After we left the school, I guided Janet toward my house full intent to get her into my bedroom.

My house was a simple two-story building that my parents owned. My family lived on the second floor and my grandmother on the ground level. Due to her advanced age, my dad had me living in my grandma’s flat in case she because ill. Also due to her age, I was able to get a away with a lot of stuff.

My bedroom was pretty much a party room. As long as my parents were not upstairs, my friends would come over with beer and a joint (or two). We would drink a little get stoned under the guise of listening to music. I had a place to store beer cans for disposal just before the garbage truck came. When we got stoned, I used a small window fan to extract smoke from the room. My parents assumed our neighbor was the “pot head”. (Maybe he was too!) Today, I would have sex in that little space of freedom.

My grandma was old and she couldn't see very well. So I managed to slip Janet into my bedroom. I turned up the music so we could be heard.

We started kissing in complete privacy. My cock got hard and pushed forward so that it pressed into her Janet’s crotch. Laying on the bed, my sweetie on her back, and dry humped vigorously for what seems to be the longest time.

We dry humped for a while before Janet sat up, unbuttoned her blouse and revealed her "Good Christian" bra. I would have expected no different. Her mother dressed her. Her mom wanted Janet’s appearance to be absence of sexuality. This just made Janet that much hotter.

I cupped her right breast with my hand. This made by hard on throb and I asked her to unzip by trousers.

Janet hesitated.

I didn’t do it myself because I wanted her to take the first step. At the time, I didn’t realize that that Playboy articles were not an accurate portrayal of life. In that magazine I once read that the best way to know a girl wants it is for her to take a man's clothes off and that most women were eager to have sex.

At the time I just didn’t understand that the guidance offered by the magazine just didn’t necessarily apply to 16 year-old girls who live under the domination of old world Christianity - even despite that incident of exhibitionism during our study session. Janet was struggling with how far she was willing to go as I thrust her towards a precipice that would lead to violating the values that her culture, her parents spent many years trying to instill.

Unable to wait I unbuckled my belt and undid my zipper. This exposed my white Fruit of the Looms briefs, which covered the erection that was twitching in anticipation. Janet eyes widen. She stared at my hidden cock with amazement and said that she never saw a cock before. Not even in pictures.

Her fingers tips glided light up and down the length of my shaft as she spoke. I start feeling myself approaching the point when I would not be able to contain an explosion of milky substance firing out of my rod.

I fought back. I resisted the impulse to ejaculate because I didn’t want this to end with just a wet pair of underpants. I didn’t want to cum without Janet seeing my cock exposed for her pleasure. Not without her mouth warming the head; tasting my semen dripping off the end. Not without having experienced me being inside her.

My effort was rewarded. I started to regain composure and went to pull down my shorts when…”bang, bang, bang”. My grandmother rapped firmly on the door. We heard her over the music “you have a girl in there, open up!”

Obviously she was more aware of her surroundings as she led others to believe.

We righted our clothes as fast as we could and after our appearance became proper, I unlocked the door and opened it wide. My grandma made a quick visual inspection while giving me the evil eye and said “leave it open”. Then sat in the rocking chair that was positioned to give her full view inside my room.

“RATS!” my mind screamed.

Janet and I chatted under surveillance. Not for very long because it was time for her to heard home. After I was alone, grandma went back to her bedroom to watch soap operas. With mission aborted, I had no choice but to lay on my bed and beat off to the memory of what just happened.

Janet and I never had another moment of privacy. The school year end and I was not allowed to visit without the guise of “study”. And when school resumed in the fall, I learned that Janet’s father accepted a job offer in a difference city. They moved away.

Looking back on that day. I doubt if we would have gone all the way. Not only was Janet hesitant, I was nervous as well. Otherwise I would have gone naked from the start.

Such is fate. But it was a fond first memory of sexual exploration.


For Camille

 

I am very sorry to hear this. I lost my Father to this.

nothing I can say will comfort you, but know you have Friends to talk with.

 

I am deeply saddened by this. I appreciate the opportunity for you to share with us.

 

I am saddened to hear your news...but will remain vigilant in sending my good thoughts and prayers your way kaliedescope.

 

Your news is very sad and thanks for sharing it with us. I don't wish to sound insensitive and please don't take this the wrong way, but any pics?

 

I'm sorry to hear this...I had cancer back in 2001, but was lucky enough to have caught it early. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask.

 

death is one of those battles we cant win. You were given the cards on the table by the doctor. Either live and feel sick as fuck barely being able to get yourself out of bed. Or have an opportunity too feel rather good until the very end. I cant say that it is much of a choice in my book. I shall cherish this small diary moments from you until the inevitable moment hits. Such simple tips as dont be to philosophical and trying to kill yourself over a reason such as why seems unnecessary. In a way im a bit jealous you will find out what awaits in the hereafter somethin i have battled with for a long time in my mind.

And with this small acknowledgement i shall leave the thread in your hands kaleidoscope to tell us yor story as you see it fit.

 

you're a good faker, don't let anyone tell you different!

 

Gave me a laugh. I would expect no different from my fellow Phunsters! See my FakeRay thread for pics.

 

Appreciate Inuk. Hope your recovery is going well.

 

Wow. I'm glad you caught it early but get regular checkups. My father died of the same cancer that I have but he survived lung cancer five years before it invaded his pancreas.

 

Thanks...

 

Flippy, you're a pal!

 

Spoken like a true Phunster. Don't let anyone tell you any different.

 

I am sorry to hear this my friend. I know me and you have not talked much. But I wish I could take this burden that you have and give it to myself. May God bless you my friend.

 

we all die someday, actually i dont know what to say.

 

Sorry to hear your news my phun bro, one truth in life is that nobody gets out alive. I JUST came across this today in my daily news lists, maybe fate is taking a hand and you can get involved in the testing and if not save your own life maybe make all the stuff you are going through mean something to someone else? At any rate here it is....


'Universal' cancer vaccine developed
A vaccine that can train cancer patients' own bodies to seek out and destroy tumour cells has been developed by scientists.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/9191848/Universal-cancer-vaccine-developed.html


Much love my brother, will be reading along with you and in a way your memories are on the internet now and that's a form of immortality I suppose.

 

My second eye surgery within 5/6 weeks seems trivial to me after reading your post. Will pray for a happy ending and
that you receive strength enough to bear your condition as
well as possible.
Your PHUN family is there for you, always.