The Attention Deficit Disorder Thread

As good a reason as any to get drunk! :beer:

Glad we're insured.

You could use an alarm clock for that.

 

What?

 

I love the word "shag". I think I'm going to use it instead of fuck from now on.

 

So early? Amateurs!

 

I use either depending on what the situation calls for.

 

Shagging mothershagger.

 

I don't know. Seemed somehow appropriate at that moment.

It always makes me think of Austin Powers.

 

I'm going back to bed for a while. Maybe I'll have another weird dream! Stand by, Jack!

 

You ass-shagging son of a shagg whore.

 

Notepad ready!

 

Doesn't have the same punch.

Sweet dreams yay.


I'm gonna fix some supper, be back later.

 

So I'm all alone now.

 

Jack! Jack, I have a new dream!!!

 

What represents a phallus thise time, a cheeseburger perhaps?

You know, like a Big Mac?

 

In my dream I was out shopping and enjoying myself very much. Then I had to pee and went to a public restroom where I met another blond woman who also had to pee. We entered the room only to find ourselves amongst a bunch of men. I said to the women: Looks like we're in the men's room! And we left to find the women's restroom. There we entered two stalls next to each other and peed. The other woman finished before me and when she left she said: Nice meeting you. My name is Jana Something-something. I said: Nice meeting you, too! My name is *insert my name here*! To which she replied: God, why do voices sound so much louder in restrooms? And then she left.
When I came out I went to wash my hands and met Ross from Friends at the basin, who inexplicably was an ex-boyfriend of mine in my dream. He was there with his little daughter. Through the open door I spied a man I wanted to hit on, and Ross said: Wait, you need to do something about your hair first! Then he squirted some liquid soap from the dispenser in his hands and styled my hair with it. I was ever so grateful and gave him a big hug and a kiss. But one kiss led to another and we ended up snogging like crazy, to which his little daughter and the rest of the people in the restroom applauded.

 

There was more but I can't remember it. Also, I had to pee when I woke up.

 

I haven't had a Big Mac in ages! :32:
And yes, both the real thing and the symbol.