The Attention Deficit Disorder Thread

Wouldn't that make you a man whore?

 

Doomsday preacher Harold Camping returned to the airwaves today, blaming his failed Rapture forecast on "a missile strike that nearly blew Jesus out of the sky."

"I didn't miscalculate anything," the 89-year-old evangelist snarled. "The Lord was right on schedule - 6:00 PM Pacific Time - ready to snatch up His followers. Then he was picked up over U.S. airspace by NORAD's radar defense system.”

Seconds later, Homeland Security scrambled fighter jets and launched surface-to-air missiles.

“An entire choir of seraphim was wiped out,” Camping said, recounting the vision he was shown of the calamity.

Jesus was reportedly shaken up in the attack but not seriously injured, according to a photo which the radio reverend said appeared miraculously on his computer late Sunday, right after his vision. "The Lord could have proceeded with the Second Coming" said Camping "but decided to abort the mission and try again after the NBA playoffs."

White House and Pentagon officials initially dismissed Camping's claims, but later reluctantly acknowledged that U.S. forces “might have” shot down "unidentified celestial objects" Saturday evening. President Obama’s approval ratings, which soared in the wake of Osama bin Laden’s death, could suffer from news that - as Camping claims - he may have tried to "take out" the Savior of all Mankind.
Undoubtably True Story

 

Gigolo Jack! I like that! I'm going to start calling you that from now on, Gigolo Jack.

And what's wrong with being a man whore, hrm? :33:

 

Nothing if you ask me.

 

back in a bit... refreshing my tea with hot agua

 

Buy me an iPhone. :-|

What's that?

 

I think he means water.

 

back.

Yes... agua is Spanish for water.

 

Jeremy Wade is my new hero - fricking catching 250 lb stingrays with a fishing rod. That's just crazy.

 

I'm thinking of buying one for myself, actually. They just came out in white here.

 

No no.....buy me one.

 

Can one of you buy me a cellphone? It can be a piece of shit.

 

I bumped some games.

 

How come you don't have one?

 

If you bring your penis over here I will.

Aww. I just gave my old piece of shit mobile to a client.

 

I never really needed one. I just use the house phone or fb to contact my friends. Since I'll be moving I figured I should probably just get one now.

 

My stepmom gave me her old one about ten years ago. Do you think those can still be activated?

 

You figure out what day you'll be moving out, spider?

 

Going to the bank tomorrow to see if we can get a loan.


I just tortured myself and watched the replay of the Bulls game.