The Attention Deficit Disorder Thread

Shit, that sucks. I love cucumbers.

 

Me too.

 

I wasn't being dirty for once.

 

I hate cucumbers.

 

Well, I don't really like eating them either.

 

And you're saying that you have actually shoved one inside your vagina?

 

:28:

:28:

 

Didn't you see the pics?

 

Why would you do that





Also.....what did you do with it afterwards??

 

They are old. It was a request.

 

I just tried to make tea magically appear before me.......it didn't work.

 

I keep trying that with penises but it never works either.

 

I can picture you sitting on the bed with your eyes closed and head bowed saying "penispenispenispeniespeniespenispenispenis..........." and then when you open your eyes hoping to find a penis there you just see your cat staring blankly at you.

 

Fat old woman with asymmetric haircut, several layers of tent-like shirts and skirts and a tiny red leather rucksack on her back is approaching store. My radar says she is just the kind of person who will come into our.... aaaaaaaand she's in!! She's in!! And just as I thought, she didn't even reply to my cheerful "Good morning!" She looks positively grumpy. I would, too, with a haircut like that.

 

Most of the time when I open my eyes, my cat is not even staring at me but just sitting there and licking his junk.

 

Asymmetric rucksack woman is browsing our store. So far, she hasn't seen anything that pleases her or even acknowledged my existence.

 

Meanwhile, I can hear my clients talk about the possibility of sudden death through tomatoes in the room next door.

 

:33:

hmm.....did you specify that it has to be a human penis?

 

I picture a group of women nervously standing around a basket of tomatoes.....secretly wondering how far they would succeed if they made a run for it.

 

Yes. I concentrated really hard on the mental image of a giant fat penis and hairy balls.

It's more like this:
"I read you can die from eating tomatoes now."
"What? But I was going to make a tomato salad for my party on Friday!!"
"How about cucumber salad?"
"No, you can die from that, too."
"How?"
"You'll get diarrhea with lots of blood in it."